An Interview With a Pop Culture Phenomenon!

 For what seems like years now, I've been trying to secure an interview with the elusive Mr. Malph A. Miller, famous for his part as the yellow M&M man from the M&M commercials, on my radio show, "Mr. D in the Evening". Well after months of give and take between Mr. M's agent and myself, I've finally secured an interview with this famous recluse! So please enjoy!
Q: Mr. M, you have such a colorful history! (No pun intended) There are so many questions to ask! I only regret that we have to keep this brief. So lets start with a classic: How does it feel to be one of the most recognizable faces in the world today?
A: (chuckles) Well Mr. D, as you and I both know, fame isn't all what it's cracked up to be. Let me tell you only the first five-ten people who come up to you and say "Hey aren't you that guy from that commercial?" come off as flattering. The rest are all just annoying.
Q: You flatter me sir! Well I can assure you I am nowhere near as famous as you Mr. M. Honestly sir, it sounds like you want to get out of the business.
A: Honestly, I do! And enough with the "Misters" and "Sirs"! Please, you went to all the trouble of getting a hold of me, please call me Malph. Anyway, back to your statement. My true passion has always been music. I'm hoping to become a professional jazz singer, like the days of Franky, Dino, and the rest of the rat pack.
Q: I'm sorry Malph, while I'd love to talk about your hopes and dreams, were already running long! Could I convince you to come back on the show? Tomorrow perhaps?
A: I would love to! there is so much we haven't covered that I'm sure my fans (or future employers) are dieing to know!
Q: You heard it here folks! Tomorrow, same time, same place! This is your favorite talk show host, "Mr. D in the evening", signing off.

The Yellow Blues

 Yeah, I'm that guy from the M&M commercials. What of it? Do I walk up to you and ask you what your job is? I didn't think so. Sorry if I come across harsh, maybe I'm just sick of being the yellow M&M guy. Maybe I'm sick of playing second banana to some angry red guy half my size. Nobody wants to know the real yellow M&M man. Nobody even knows my real name! I'm not "that yellow M&M guy", I'm Malph A. Miller for goodness sake! Is it a perfect name? No, but it's my name consarnit! Everybody knows the happy-go-lucky yellow M&M playing the Yang to the red M&M's Yin, but does anybody know the brooding, starving artist that is Malph Miller? Malph Miller, who spends all of his free time at Starbuck's? Who is a lounge singer on weekends, not for the money but for the passion of the music? No... not yet. Some day my talents will be discovered, someday I will be truly fulfilled, but until then, I'm just a commercial actor with the yellow blues.

Yellow? I Assure you, he's Anything But

 Arms at his side, standing ever erect, the "yellow" M&M man stands vigilant, his piercing stare upon all. Sentinel of justice, he ferrets out the lies and deceit of today's society. His Sphere of Liberty, imbued with admantium, kevlar, and the ever so mystical transpari-steel, he is armed and willing to trod upon evil wherever it shall arise! Chest emblazoned with a heroic "M" for Masterful, Magnificent, and most of all Manly; lesser beings void their bowels with the sheer terror of his might! So you may rest easy tonight America, for that Mysterious Mister M fixes all with his piercing gaze, and while he is yellow; I can assure you that he is no coward!

Looking deeper... and Darker...

 Ah the yellow M&M man. Ever smiling, playing the optimist to the Red M&M's pessimist. The M&M man trinket that I have described in my previous post can be no different... or can he? Perhaps there is a deeper, darker side to him lingering beneath that hard exterior shell. Perhaps a tortured soul dwells inside his solid candy facade. Trapped inside a plastic bubble, encapsulated, cut off from the outside world. Forever stagnant, he may not move unless others apply their own, separate will. Oh tormented M&M man, crying out for companionship, unable to reach anybody, your plastic prison cell keeping you in and the world out, two prongs from the devil's own pitchfork forever dooming you to spin in place, never getting anywhere, cursed to the same fate as Tantulus, forever grasping for what you truly want but never quite able to reach it. And what of the grains in your prison? Those same grains that brought so many others entertainment with their constant pitter-patter as if rain on the window? What are they to you? Nothing  more than raindrops on a dreary day that is your cursed existence. Well allow me to offer a ray of sunshine on your gloomy day Mr. M&M man; Life always gets better. Some day you shall break free of your plastic fetters, some day you will extend you hand in companionship and somebody will extend theirs in return and when that happens? The two of you shall be thicker than thieves and higher than birds of a feather. When that day comes, you shall see a rainbow on that gloomy, dreary day that is your current state. That rainbow will not be my word of advice coming to fruition, however. It will be your own bright piercing ray of realization that will part the clouds on that rainy day, leaving joyous times and friendship in its wake.

Trinket #1

 This, my first ever blog, is about a trinket that I received in my A.P. Language class. This particular trinket is a tad difficult to describe to you without a picture, but here I go regardless; It is the Yellow M&M man inside a plastic capsule with granules of plastic, as to make a rattling sound when shaken. This capsule is attached to a red pedestal with two prongs connecting the capsule to the pedestal. this allows the capsule to be spun in place. It was clearly made for marketing during the Christmas season, as the M&M man is wearing a green "Santa's elf hat" with pointed green "Santa's elf shoes." I'm not quite sure how i just trivialized a small trinket that even the smallest of children could figure out and have fun with within seconds, but I believe I've synthesized enough complicated words to make even what could've been a simple description into what some would perceive as intellectual. I do enjoy sounding like an intellectual regardless however, so please...

Enjoy!